Arthur who?

I recently acquired some fun books for Savannah.  One of them was a riddle/joke book.  The joke was:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Arthur
Arthur who?
Arthur any cookies left?


And I add, or Butterfingers, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, taffy, homemade rolls.  You know, the good stuff. 

While my sister in law facebooks "You're worth more than that piece of candy"  I'm like, yeah, but it's sure good. 

At least in my mind it's good. 

Is it really good?

Yeah.  Good for me?  Maybe not. 

I was so excited to be done having babies and to get my body back. 

HAHAHA!   yeah, right. 

I mean, I was excited, but now that it's come to the real time, I find myself completely unmotivated.  Which is really unlike me.  I've worked out my whole life.  It's driven me.  I've been obsessed with it.  I may not look like it now, or maybe I never even have; nonetheless, it's true.  I'd devoted my life to diet and exercise, whether or not I cheated.  I did it.  And did it.  And did it some more.  And motivated Ed.  And my children.  We P90xd it.  We ran the track.  We've done Biggest Loser DVDs.  Body For Life.  Liquid diets from a hospital, Hcg, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig. 

And I was so excited and motivated again to get my body back, and now I find, for some unknown reason to me, I find myself tired, unmotivated, tired, unmotivated, don't care, whatever, I'll just get fat.  I'm tired of fighting it.  20 years is a long time to be in a battle. 

Oh you skinny people will never understand, even if you felt fat because you were pregnant, you had your baby and you are skinny again.  Lucky you. 

Variety is the spice of life, I guess.

So, here I am, tired; tired of dieting, tired of thinking about it, tired of exercising my butt of when it's not coming off. 

Maybe this is a phase of life new to me.  Perhaps I will get my groove back some day.  Maybe soon, maybe later. 

Maybe when my kids can work out with me without me having to watch to make sure they don't run into someone on the track.  Or they're old enough to use the treadmill or elliptical without getting hurt, or hurting someone else. 

Maybe if I had more time and wasn't homeschooling.  It sure takes up a lot of time. 

But I love it. 

And I do love to exercise. 

Someday it will come back into my life.  I'm sure of it.  Just not this week.