Slumps

Recently I've come across some blogs that I really like (refer to blogs I follow).  Some of them are just informative and some of them are really uplifting or inspirational, or just plain funny.  I like funny and informative the best, hence, my latest referall to http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/  I enjoy her quick wit, advise and ideas.   And I'm really needing it now as I find myself recently overwhelmed.  She says to blog all the time, to nourish it, even when you don't feel like it.  So I thought, maybe I would try that. 

I haven't blogged for awhile because I've been finding myself in slumps lately.  Rehashing some of the same old crap that keeps popping up in my emotional memories. 

1.  I miss my dear friend who moved to St. Louis.  I love and miss all my dear friends, but she actually lived by me.  The older I get I realize the harder it is to develop those kinds of life long friendships of trust, and how important they are.

2.  I miss my body before 2nd baby (because I developed and had my best body after #1...thank you Body For Life)

3.  I miss the second home (the perfect one) we've lived in since Ed graduated with his Masters, with the hot tub, pool, 5 bedrooms with a pool table, on the acre in the country with fabulous neighbors.  We are on #4 now.  Nice but not nearly as fabulous. 

4.  I miss the money I pay in taxes. 

5.  I get overwhelmed by my children sometimes.  And really, I mean only sometimes.  I LOVE being with my children.  I LOVE learning with them.  I've learned more history this year then I remember ever learning in High School.  But sometimes, it's overwhelming getting our studies ready for the next day.  It occuppies a LOT of my brain time, and I don't think real clearly sometimes. 

6.  My dog needs a bark shock collar.

7.  I don't like feeling vulnerable in social settings.  I recently started thinking I'm the socially awkward one.  I've been conversing with more adults over this past summer (as my kids have had numerous play dates and I've had more adult conversation then I have in what feels like, since I've been married) and am seeing my social flaws hard core.  I find myself worrying about what other people think...and I hate that.  I'm trying to free myself from that which seems to tie me down. 

8.  I get frustrated with my own pride and defenses, or oppositional defiance in conversations with others.  If that even makes sense.  I find myself arguing with people when I probably agree with them.  (ok, maybe that's more of the social flaw issue)

9.  I want to be content with what I have, but I want to be out of debt and have plenty of reserve to retire well. 

10.  Age has been fabulous until this year.  Getting old sucks. 

I remember in 5th grade arguing with a girl as we stood in line to go in from recess.  I don't remember what she said, but I told her not to take things personally.  Then she said something to me and told me not to take things personally.  And I said, "Ok, I won't".  And from that time forward I tried really hard not to.  I often let things just slide off my back.  In fact, even through all of high school I maintained that same attitude and was consciously always happy, which made me, really, always happy, and often the initiator for fun (it helped that my parents provided me with a car and let me drive my friends around !)

I'm trying to find that joy again.  I see it, I feel it, and it's coming, coming, coming........yeah, it really is, but for now I guess I'll just keep reading my latest blog finds and try to load up and be around those that are uplifting, and frankly, have a good sense of humor.  Wit...it's one of my goals.  ;)  Wish me luck!